The Dark Side of Nothing

My Life as it spills out onto the screen.

Pondering – Part 2

  I know, you all want to kill me because I’m such a lazy blogger and now have you waiting for me to finish not one but two previous postings! Well as much as I want to run off and play World of Warcraft tonight (I will end up checking to make sure the long 1.2 GB update did install correctly after I’m done with this posting.)

  I should be writing the conclusion to Pills, Pills and more Pills, but I’m not in the mood to write about pills. But since I’m horny (this is not news because I’m always horny, thanks to testosterone replacement therapy) and this includes sex, well the mention of sex, I’m doing it first. <Grin>

  I currently live in Gilbert, AZ (this is South and East of downtown Phoenix or about 40 miles, give or take) with my dad. I often have to go to Phoenix to visit the Veteran’s Hospital (V.A.). My doctor is located here. I mention this because if you were to drive to the Phoenix V.A. it would take 35/40 mins. depending on the time of day. But if I forget to setup a ride and have to take the bus this journey takes 3 buses and 3 hours to complete. If I have a doctors appointment I can usually set up a call with an agency that will pay for a taxi ride to and from the hospital, but you have to call 24 hours in advance. Most wise people would take full advantage of this offering but as I mentioned I usually have forgotten about my appointments only to remember the night before that I have one. I also forgot to mention that if I have to go in for lab work or x-rays or something that isn’t a doctors appointment. That doesn’t count for a taxi ride and I get to take the bus. So I’ve ridden the bus into Phx. on many of occasions. So when I get to Phx, I’m usually in NO rush (especially if it is some 15 min appointment or something that ends up being short) to turn around and get back on the bus for another 3 hrs. 

  Most gay folks somewhere in there lives have ventured online in the search or friends, partners, FB (that stands for Fuck Buddy – for those that are straight and  don’t know what I’m talking about (like straight folks don’t have FB’s – Right <wink><wink>) Usually a FB is someone you meet to have sex with on a regular/irregular bases. Usually it’s just sex and you don’t really talk about much else. But I’ve seen variations on this theme. But usually if you start to see them more and learn more about them, I think you’ve both moved on to another category. I could be wrong, I’m only speculating. Using some of my own adventures as fodder here. So through various websites I’ve gathered several contacts (alright, fine Tricks (people you usually only see for sex and usually only once – my definition). Sometimes these Tricks are really cool people that you get along with well or you had a really good time at their house, etc. Then the move to the Buddy, Friend, FB or some combination of the afore mentioned groups. Well I have at least one that is in the Friend/FB (almost more the Friends with Benefits since I can always spend the night and that he like to feed me ( more was then one) category. Every time I go to Phx. I try to visit them. Why you ask? Because sometimes it just the older guy (he had a younger guy living with him but sadly that unknown to me was coming to an end, but that still doesn’t matter) or sometimes it’s him and a few other guys and sometimes it’s many other guys throughout the night. I always have fun there. I can just be …. hmm ….. whatever I feel like being on that day, given situation. The good new is that I was able to visit him, bad news was that he wasn’t feeling so well. So we fooled around a bit and then it was off to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. I should have been crashed out because I was at the Rainsbow’s Festival (this was like Gay Pride, with out the parade and the gate fee to get into the Gay Pride events area – It was free) for most of the day. Eventually I drifted off but I kept waking up. Which was also annoying because I was supposed (notice “supposed”) to walk in the AIDS Walk that was happening the next day, early. Finally I woke back up and decided to get up because I had a bunch of papers, magazines, t-shirts and other junk that I had gathered from the festival. You see all I had was my backpack on my wheelchair and that had clothes and stuff in it for the weekend. The bad part was I popped in a video on the downstairs T.V. (I wonder what kind of video this was, I’ll give you 3 guesses and the first two don’t count.) I was sitting on the couch packing my bags and the next thing I know is it’s 2 hours later, my friend is still asleep and the video is finished. Only thing is I got nothing done, I notice from a flyer that I told my friend the wrong time that the walk was suppose to start. I decide not to make a fuss over the walk and just let him sleep since he wasn’t feeling good the night before. He finally got up not along afterwards. We ate some breakfast and he took me to the bus stop. I was able to watch them coming back from the walk. While I didn’t want to do the walk, I wasn’t real upset because I had gave my donation and the walk/roll in my case is just to bring more awareness to the issue for those who don’t think it is still around or needed anymore.

  Now I usually try to setup two meetings if I possible can. One with my friend and perhaps one with someone new. Well as it is sometimes the case with online services/people, they flake out. This person flaked big time, I had again spent so time at the festival and they basically strung me along until I really was too tired to catch the bus but didn’t want to spend $50 bucks for a hotel. So I chose the in between street and stayed at The Chute. These could be affectionately called an “All Night Men’s Health Spa” (That’s what they called the one in San Jose, CA. That’s why it was still open when most of the one’s called Bath Houses were closed down long ago.) Anyway, call it what ever you want. Here because it was the weekend, you only get a 6 hour window unless you renew for another block of time. Sadly I was so tired and pushed off checking in because of this. By the time I got there it was dead, it’s alway dead when I go or so it seems. That I laid down to watch the video, next thing I realize, poof, its 10 mins before I’m suppose to check out. Oh shit, so much for my shower. So I wasn’t in the best of moods when I finally hopped on the bus to go home. Here I was glad for those free shirts they gave out at the festival. But I was still tired and <cough> horny. Not one of the better weekends, but I have only myself to blame as I gave the 2nd person way more time to try and get ahold of me then I’ve ever given someone in the “new” category. I will never do it again as I ended up spending more money that I had planned on spending. See that’s another reason I try to make the plans ahead of time. This way I can stay over at friends houses, I might get lucky and have some fun and I don’t have to spend a dime on any hotel costs. If I can make it two nights in town, all the better. But I now will yet again change my rules regarding new contacts.

  So there you have it, not quite as juicy as I made it out to be. Sadly one of the worst planned weekends I’ve put together. The best weekend I can’t really write about here because of some of the things I did. If I left one of the main parts out, it wouldn’t flow right. Perhaps later, perhaps not, we will see. 

  I’m sorry it took me so long to get this posted. It’s been collecting dust in my blog innards for a few days. I will try to finish Pills, Pills and more Pills tomorrow. Even if I have a doc appt like I think I might..hehe. Yeah, I think I forgot another one and yes, earlier tonight I was checking to see if I can visit my good friend. 

  P.S. – I forgot to mention that I live on a tight budget because I’m trying to pay off all my bills before I attempt to live on my own again. This is why I live with my dad. I need a job, a car, most of the bills paid off and then some place to live. I usually only have a doc appt or need to go into Phx once a month if I’m lucky. I can’t host (that means I can’t have any overnight guests at my dads house) and I live so far away from the city that NO ONE wants to drive out to Gilbert because we live SO far (Lazy Fuckers) that this really is the only way I get to let my hair down and have some fun. So this is also why I try to make the most out of each visit to Phx.


October 16, 2008 - Posted by | Friends, Gay, General, Health, Humor, Phoenix, VA | , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Hello there! Hahaha, I do understand the whole wanderlust affair. Yea, there are times when I plotted to withdraw all the money in my account and travel the world. But then the thought of ending up as a limbless beggar in Bangkok pulls me back to reality. Hahaha. Well, just be patient, budget as much as you can, and I’m sure you’ll be fast on your way to independent living! And not having friends close by definitely sucks. But cheer up, who knows, maybe your next trip to Phoenix might yield surprises.Hahaha.


    Comment by confessionsofaclosetcase | October 16, 2008 | Reply

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