Three Great Movies I Saw Today

  Howdy All – Just a quick post today before I dive into the World of Warcraft for a quick hour before bed. I shouldn’t even be doing that as I’ve been know to get lost in WoW and still be playing the next morning. I’ve got church tomorrow and I don’t want to miss it because I got “lost” in WoW, would I do that?!?
  This afternoon and evening was spent watching 3 movies that I really liked. The first was “Twilight”. I’ve read part of the book and I felt it followed the book really well for the first 30 minutes. Now I want to finish the book even more to see how well the rest of the movie follows or deviates from the book.
  The second movie was “Passengers”. I also enjoyed this movie but I sort of had an idea of what was going towards the end of the movie, but it still had a twist that surprised me.
  Lastly the third movie was “Seven Pounds” starring Will Smith. This one was excellent and I recommend it if you are out and about and end up deciding on visiting the theater to take a break from the shopping ( I was also going to say crowds but sometime the movie theater is just as crowded as the mall.). I will say that it will probably make you cry in some spots. But you can always fall back on the “there’s something in my eye” for you more butch fellows out there.
  Hope you all are having a great holiday season and that the crowds are not driving you crazy. Have a great day tomorrow!

Why I Started This Blog

Do you know why I started this blog, no of course you don’t because I haven’t told you yet. You see this should have been my first posting but I was so mad a furious that I couldn’t really form my diatribe into something that I could type out on this page. Oh how I wish my iListen program was working correctly. It would make this so much easier, then again maybe not as I remember how shitty a job it did for me. I need to retrain it. Anyway, I formed this blog because I wanted to truly wanted to help out with the youth groups at my church. Either the Junior or Senior High kids, it didn’t really matter. One I wanted to help because they needed help, a lot of help and Two because I felt that if another church member can out and said he or she was gay or lesbian I felt it would be a youth member before another adult member. Well things were humming along until the pastor asked me if I had told the youth pastor about me being gay. “Oh, no”, I thought, I knew things were going too good to be true. He mentioned that if I didn’t say anything that he would have to mention it. So I ask if me being gay would have any ramifications as to be helping out with the kids. You see I had set myself up for a hard fall with out even thinking about it. Here I thought our “Real Life” (the name of the church) might actually be ok with someone being gay as long as the kids were aware of it. Like, “Hey, I’m gay but that is only a small part of my life and that really isn’t anyone business unless you want it to be. But that will not effect my being able to teach you and from us learning about the bible together.” What the fuck was I thinking of!!?? As soon as I mentioned to the youth pastor that I was gay, he said he didn’t know that and that we needed to meet and talk things over about me helping out. This happen on our big get together night for both Junior and Senior kids. Here I am saying I might be one of there leaders, knowing that I will not be one of the team leaders.

  So off to the meeting at the coffee shop. Three guess and the first two don’t count as to what I was told. Yeah, congratulations, I was told that I couldn’t be a team leader or a leader of anything for that matter because, you know, that your gay. Oh yes and that I might say something good about being gay. My what could I say that is good about being shit on all the time by the church you trust. If I was asked, I wasn’t going to lie, but I would tell them what to expect and that it is not a bed of roses and it’s not like that , “I Kissed a Girl” song either. That it is tough and that you will be discriminated against by your own church and by people you thought that you could love and trust. I’ve  saw it and felt it first hand at the last church I was at. This church we push how REAL we are at REAL LIFE! But unfortunately real church leaks through when one takes the bible literal and thinks its inerrant when it really is NEITHER!! I had a lovely meeting with the youth pastor and church pastor. I started to hear the same shit, but this time with a different spin and a smile!! I hate to say but I tuned them out when my sexuality was equated with alcoholism, Type A personality and other thing that are to be quelled and controlled. Oh Gee, are you going to QUELL and CONTROL your sexuality?!?! No, of course not because you can get married and enjoy the 1136 rights that a married couple are entitled to via state and federal laws. You can reproduce until you have some many children you are wondering how to feed them all. But when some same-sex couples suggest that they too would like to get married all hell break loose. You can keep your fucking word MARRIAGE, because all it houses is a 50% chance that your “sanctimonious” marriage, performed by Elvis at the Drive-Thru wedding chapel in Las Vegas, is going to end in DIVORCE!! I’ll take union or joining or something else and you can stick marriage where the sun doesn’t shine!! For the longest time people like to throw out how we are such sluts and do nothing but run around and get laid (wish I was that way, HA). We all know people like this but that isn’t the point. The point is here we have couples that WANT to say together. That there are people how have possibly been together for several years or several decades. But mention that you want to get married and the shit hits the fan! I’ve gotten off topic but this is another one that chaffs my britches! Do you know that both sides of the Prop 8 have spent a combined total of over 50 MILLION dollars toward the NO/YES on the stupid marriage amendment. Plus GOD only knows how many man/women hours wasted, YES WASTED on this piece of shit amendment (and Arizona is that far behind with it’s stupid Prop 102). SAVE MARRIAGE, is the cry from the Yes’ers. Save Marriage, what a fucking joke, as 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Plus they have ads talking about how kids with a mom and dad do better than kids with just one parent, HUH?! You have to have two people to get married. They must mean that a kid with two moms or two dads is going to get into all this trouble because the other sex isn’t in the picture. What the hell do they know, we might have Mrs/Mr Butch and  Mrs/Mr Feminine or they might both be butch or feminine but I bet they have lots of friends that will fill in the role of mom/dad or what ever. Those fucking arrogant sons of bitches, all they spew is BULLSHIT, FEAR AND HATE!!! Just Google Prop 8 or Prop 102 and read some of the CRAP they have put out. Damn, they could take that 50 million and put it to some good use elsewhere. Maybe even classes on how to work through your problems when married so at the first sign of trouble you don’t jump on the divorce ship and sail off to the “I took the easy way out” island. 

  Alright, back to my original topic of basically being told that as long as I proclaim I’m gay I will never be a team leader. But hey we are NOT judging you. Oh, of course your not. Well at least I didn’t get to hear the 7 or so verses and the pastors interpretation of those scriptures like I had to go through at my last church when I said I wanted to join so that I could voice my opinion as to the fate of the $26,000 that belonged to us. That was a real joy. But this really wasn’t any better, because it was the same theme, sugar coated with a smile. They both lead to  nowhere, limbo in a church that I really like. 

  Yes, why don’t I go to a gay church where I can serve openly and with out hassle. Well because those churches are in Phoenix and with out a car it makes getting to them a very long 3 hour bus ride, one way. We will attend them in due time. But currently I enjoyed my “No on 102 Again…” www.votenoprop102.com signs and button that I wore during our one year celebration last Sunday. Some people actually asked me about them and a friend and I got into a conversation about why it would be bad if Gays and Lesbian got married. It was enjoyable as I heard that churches would be forced to marry people that they didn’t want to. I would be against that, I don’t want anyone to force a church to marry my man and I. if that ever come about. I don’t want your hate clouding my happy day. I’ll find a church that does want to marry. Then I heard how people would be force to do thing they didn’t want to do, HUH? Oh, the New Mexico Christian that got sued for discrimination (This is a big Christian based site, not that we are all bad, but just a warning on the slant of the article about the suit: http://www.cbn.com/CBNnews/357084.aspx) I’ve read alot of sites and the current New Mexico Human Rights Act. This is something that she should have know as she was advertising a goods and service that fell under the Act. I found it interesting that the letter that didn’t mention a same-sex wedding she was all gung-ho to do it but the letter that did mention it was a flat out denial. If it were I, I would have probably sent back a harshly worded letter about I wasn’t hiring her religion to take the pictures I was hiring her. What she should have done if she didn’t want to do the pictures was subcontracted it out to someone else, had them take the pictures and then give her all the pictures and negatives and she would have been a few hundred richer instead of $7000 poorer.   

  You see, everyone assumes that you are heterosexual until you tell them other wise. I could have never spoke with the pastor about me being gay and never mention it to the youth pastor. I could have been yet another in the closet Christian. If I had did that, then most likely I would be a team leader right now with one of the youth groups! But because I don’t want to be a closet gay Christian, I wanted no secrets and I wanted to see the position of the pastor. Which after our meeting I felt was saying that he still followed the usual bible path until someone shows him differently. In other words he was open to dialog about how these text maybe interpreted wrong. That is what I’m currently working on. How to present a case of how these 6/7 texts are interpreted wrong. 

  I’m off to bed, I lied, I’m off to play a little World of Warcraft. This is the bad thing of working out late. Either it helps you sleep or it keeps me awake. This was more inspiration from the bathroom. <G>

  IF YOU LIVE IN CALIFORNIA OR ARIZONA, PLEASE VOTE NO ON PROP 8 OR PROP 102!!! THANKS

Pondering – Part 2

  I know, you all want to kill me because I’m such a lazy blogger and now have you waiting for me to finish not one but two previous postings! Well as much as I want to run off and play World of Warcraft tonight (I will end up checking to make sure the long 1.2 GB update did install correctly after I’m done with this posting.)

  I should be writing the conclusion to Pills, Pills and more Pills, but I’m not in the mood to write about pills. But since I’m horny (this is not news because I’m always horny, thanks to testosterone replacement therapy) and this includes sex, well the mention of sex, I’m doing it first. <Grin>

  I currently live in Gilbert, AZ (this is South and East of downtown Phoenix or about 40 miles, give or take) with my dad. I often have to go to Phoenix to visit the Veteran’s Hospital (V.A.). My doctor is located here. I mention this because if you were to drive to the Phoenix V.A. it would take 35/40 mins. depending on the time of day. But if I forget to setup a ride and have to take the bus this journey takes 3 buses and 3 hours to complete. If I have a doctors appointment I can usually set up a call with an agency that will pay for a taxi ride to and from the hospital, but you have to call 24 hours in advance. Most wise people would take full advantage of this offering but as I mentioned I usually have forgotten about my appointments only to remember the night before that I have one. I also forgot to mention that if I have to go in for lab work or x-rays or something that isn’t a doctors appointment. That doesn’t count for a taxi ride and I get to take the bus. So I’ve ridden the bus into Phx. on many of occasions. So when I get to Phx, I’m usually in NO rush (especially if it is some 15 min appointment or something that ends up being short) to turn around and get back on the bus for another 3 hrs. 

  Most gay folks somewhere in there lives have ventured online in the search or friends, partners, FB (that stands for Fuck Buddy – for those that are straight and  don’t know what I’m talking about (like straight folks don’t have FB’s – Right <wink><wink>) Usually a FB is someone you meet to have sex with on a regular/irregular bases. Usually it’s just sex and you don’t really talk about much else. But I’ve seen variations on this theme. But usually if you start to see them more and learn more about them, I think you’ve both moved on to another category. I could be wrong, I’m only speculating. Using some of my own adventures as fodder here. So through various websites I’ve gathered several contacts (alright, fine Tricks (people you usually only see for sex and usually only once – my definition). Sometimes these Tricks are really cool people that you get along with well or you had a really good time at their house, etc. Then the move to the Buddy, Friend, FB or some combination of the afore mentioned groups. Well I have at least one that is in the Friend/FB (almost more the Friends with Benefits since I can always spend the night and that he like to feed me (hehe..in more was then one) category. Every time I go to Phx. I try to visit them. Why you ask? Because sometimes it just the older guy (he had a younger guy living with him but sadly that unknown to me was coming to an end, but that still doesn’t matter) or sometimes it’s him and a few other guys and sometimes it’s many other guys throughout the night. I always have fun there. I can just be …. hmm ….. whatever I feel like being on that day, given situation. The good new is that I was able to visit him, bad news was that he wasn’t feeling so well. So we fooled around a bit and then it was off to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. I should have been crashed out because I was at the Rainsbow’s Festival (this was like Gay Pride, with out the parade and the gate fee to get into the Gay Pride events area – It was free) for most of the day. Eventually I drifted off but I kept waking up. Which was also annoying because I was supposed (notice “supposed”) to walk in the AIDS Walk that was happening the next day, early. Finally I woke back up and decided to get up because I had a bunch of papers, magazines, t-shirts and other junk that I had gathered from the festival. You see all I had was my backpack on my wheelchair and that had clothes and stuff in it for the weekend. The bad part was I popped in a video on the downstairs T.V. (I wonder what kind of video this was, I’ll give you 3 guesses and the first two don’t count.) I was sitting on the couch packing my bags and the next thing I know is it’s 2 hours later, my friend is still asleep and the video is finished. Only thing is I got nothing done, I notice from a flyer that I told my friend the wrong time that the walk was suppose to start. I decide not to make a fuss over the walk and just let him sleep since he wasn’t feeling good the night before. He finally got up not along afterwards. We ate some breakfast and he took me to the bus stop. I was able to watch them coming back from the walk. While I didn’t want to do the walk, I wasn’t real upset because I had gave my donation and the walk/roll in my case is just to bring more awareness to the issue for those who don’t think it is still around or needed anymore.

  Now I usually try to setup two meetings if I possible can. One with my friend and perhaps one with someone new. Well as it is sometimes the case with online services/people, they flake out. This person flaked big time, I had again spent so time at the festival and they basically strung me along until I really was too tired to catch the bus but didn’t want to spend $50 bucks for a hotel. So I chose the in between street and stayed at The Chute. These could be affectionately called an “All Night Men’s Health Spa” (That’s what they called the one in San Jose, CA. That’s why it was still open when most of the one’s called Bath Houses were closed down long ago.) Anyway, call it what ever you want. Here because it was the weekend, you only get a 6 hour window unless you renew for another block of time. Sadly I was so tired and pushed off checking in because of this. By the time I got there it was dead, it’s alway dead when I go or so it seems. That I laid down to watch the video, next thing I realize, poof, its 10 mins before I’m suppose to check out. Oh shit, so much for my shower. So I wasn’t in the best of moods when I finally hopped on the bus to go home. Here I was glad for those free shirts they gave out at the festival. But I was still tired and <cough> horny. Not one of the better weekends, but I have only myself to blame as I gave the 2nd person way more time to try and get ahold of me then I’ve ever given someone in the “new” category. I will never do it again as I ended up spending more money that I had planned on spending. See that’s another reason I try to make the plans ahead of time. This way I can stay over at friends houses, I might get lucky and have some fun and I don’t have to spend a dime on any hotel costs. If I can make it two nights in town, all the better. But I now will yet again change my rules regarding new contacts.

  So there you have it, not quite as juicy as I made it out to be. Sadly one of the worst planned weekends I’ve put together. The best weekend I can’t really write about here because of some of the things I did. If I left one of the main parts out, it wouldn’t flow right. Perhaps later, perhaps not, we will see. 

  I’m sorry it took me so long to get this posted. It’s been collecting dust in my blog innards for a few days. I will try to finish Pills, Pills and more Pills tomorrow. Even if I have a doc appt like I think I might..hehe. Yeah, I think I forgot another one and yes, earlier tonight I was checking to see if I can visit my good friend. 

  P.S. – I forgot to mention that I live on a tight budget because I’m trying to pay off all my bills before I attempt to live on my own again. This is why I live with my dad. I need a job, a car, most of the bills paid off and then some place to live. I usually only have a doc appt or need to go into Phx once a month if I’m lucky. I can’t host (that means I can’t have any overnight guests at my dads house) and I live so far away from the city that NO ONE wants to drive out to Gilbert because we live SO far (Lazy Fuckers) that this really is the only way I get to let my hair down and have some fun. So this is also why I try to make the most out of each visit to Phx.

Lazy Saturday

Hey All, it’s just a lazy Saturday. I was hoping to go to Phoenix and hang out with some friends but they went out of town again. So I’m stuck at home trying to motivate myself to clean my room. Needless to say it isn’t working very well. So I’ve decided that I’m going to go play some World of Warcraft. I’m going to make a brand new character on my friends server. If you couldn’t tell by my brief bio I love to play World of Warcraft. Currently most of my characters on the server named Llane and I play Horde, the “evil” guys. He has an Alliance character so this will kind of be a first for me as I’ve never really played any of the “good” guys. The only real bad thing is that I can’t send my brand new toon (another name for your character) and of my gold. So I’m starting off poor! See if I had other Alliance toons on this same server I could send my new toon any items that might be too low or that have not been used or equipped by any of the other toons. Plus if I had any spare gold, I too could send that so that this toon might have a leg up and not have to scrape by. That will not be the case here. Maybe I can buy and try out one of the many gold guides that walk you through and help you earn gold at all levels of the game. Then I also may crap a golden egg and be debt free in life.

  Off to play WOW!! Do you play WOW, if so, list your server, toon and levels. I’ll get all my toon info and list it later. I sort of suffer from Alt sickness as you will see later. But I’ve really started to buckle down on my Rogue to finally get at least one toon to level 70. He’s at 30. I made him so that I could remember how to play the level 28 Rogue that I did have. I have 7 other toons beside these two, see what I mean about Alt sickness. More later.